Saturday Night Activities

This weeks Saturday night activity was to catch two guinea hens. Allah's family moved off of the compound for reasons I rather not get into. (Allah is one of the Bere boys, and his father use to work in the hospital. His father was the administrator, so that is why they lived in the compound). They took all their belongings, including the animals with them. However, they couldn't catch two of their guinea hens. They told the Parkers the only way to catch them was to kill them. So, Tammy gave us orders to attack and take no prisoners after they gave her permission to kill them. (Tammy was fed up with the guinea hens because they were eating the roses in her garden). 

So the Bere boys and SMs armed themselves with slingshots and rocks of various sizes and got to work. We were only able to find one of the two guinea hens. You could tell that the guinea hen had a premonition it was about to die because it flew as high as it could into a mango tree. (Honestly, I didn't realize guinea hens could fly that high. They are like prettier, more annoying chickens in my eyes).

We began pelting the hen with stones to try and knock it out of the tree. No matter how many times it was hit with stones, it would not get out of the tree. We felt sorry for the guinea hen, but it was a known fact that if we were to wait for it to come down we would never be able to find it again. This was our only chance. 

We were outside slinging rocks at the guinea hen for almost an hour. It was a dark night, so we used the night guards mini spotlight to see the hen. There were many false hopes as the guinea hen was knock lower  and lower. However, it refused to come down. The hen rather be hit with stones then killed; it was holding onto the branches for dear life. 

In the end we were able to knock it out of the tree, and chased it around the compound. Allah caught the guinea hen and bound its feet. The only sign of the attack the guinea hen had was a small little scrap on his wing. It was amazing how after being hit by so many rocks the hen hardly had a mark on it. So, thankfully, we didn't have to kill the guinea hen. It was able to go to its new home.

 After the arm exercise the SMs decided to watch Pocahontas. So we popped some popcorn and had a great time watching the Disney classic. During the whole movie we cracked jokes about how it would be if the movie was about Tchad instead of native Americans. We realized that Tchadian Pocahontas would be really similar to the original version of the movie. 

******SIDE NOTE: Things are better between the guys and I. I don't know if the tension and everything else I was feeling was only in my head, or we settled our differences. Most likely I was just really annoyed about how I was treated during my sickness and my frustrations/annoyances were still plaguing me. 

Working With My Host Dad

This week I had the opportunity to work in the laboratory. That is where my host dad works and so he showed me the ropes. Basically, the week was bittersweet. Hardly anyone in labs spoke English, and my French is a work in progress. Therefore, I sat there quietly most of the time. (I am still really timid about speaking French).

My host dad did a really good job of explaining what everything was and how to do things. Honestly, it was nothing exciting like in the OR. I just looked at malaria smears and poop all day long. And if I wasn't doing that then I was cleaning slides. However, I still had fun. 

It is more relaxed in labs. The workers sit back, talk, and have a great time. I wish I knew enough French to join in the laughs. Although it was hard to communicate they ensured I knew how much they appreciated me being there. They made certain that I went to eat lunch, and basically kicked me out of labs by three because I did a lot of work already. Everyone would tell me good job, and were very encouraging. Therefore, other then the very mundane work day, I still had a good time.

Of course I more exposed working in labs. Every patient has to go to labs at some point and time. So, I was being hit on the whole time by some of the patients. Even one of the workers put a great deal of effort to communicate with me and hardly did any work. He added me on Facebook, then proceeded to look through all my pictures. I never thought I would be so embarrassed by my knees showing in a picture. I was mortified when he saw pictures of me in shorts. Culture shock has hit me hard. I am less worried about cleavage and more worried about how my knees show once in awhile. 

I also had many people tell me I should stay longer, and had a wonderful lecture about marriage. A patient argued his case for why it is better to have more then one wife, and why I should get married in Tchad. He told me that I need to learn French quick or else I won't be able to find a good husband... Things were very awkward from time to time.

On top of labs I had a wonderful time at gymnastics. This new kid is attending and he is amazing. He can hold a handstand for over 20 seconds and can do a back walkover by himself. He is the best one in the class by far. He even shows me some moves and makes me try them. Basically, he is teaching me how to breakdance. I never expected to learn that here. So now it is a gymnastics break dancing group. I hope we can get a show together before I leave so I can show you a video of all our hard work.

It is crazy to think that I am only here for 8 more weeks. At times I feel like it is a very long time and I can't wait for it to be over. But, for the most part, I hate to see it end. Things are getting better and better and I am loving things more and more. I feel like I have so much more I want to do and very little time to do it in. I have truly become attached to this place.

******TOUCHING MOMENT OF THIS WEEK: One of the kids in my old English class stopped me and asked why I wasn't teaching anymore. They miss me teaching English, but are happy they get to hang out with me at gymnastics still. 

Clarification

****WARNING: For all of the newer readers this may come across in the wrong light. I don't mean for this blog to sound like I am complaining about various situations. I have written blogs in the past about different situations and realized that they lacked vital detail, or needed to be clarified and/or updated. Therefore, I have written the titles of the old blogs at the beginning of each corresponding paragraph to help you fully grasp the purpose of this post. I am truly enjoy this experience and have been blessed in many ways along the way. I know there will be many more blessings during the remainder of my trip as well. 

I have never blog about my new tasks for the remaining of this trip, and also how things are between me and the other missionaries. I know I have blogged here and there about the missionaries, but I realize I haven't been very clear about things. Hopefully this blog with clear some of the muddied water. 

[Let's Be Real and Suffocated]: First off my relations with the SMs are up in the air. (The SMs are Josh, Daniel, and Jonny). Jonny has left to work at the hospital in Mondou, so there isn't much communication with him. Ever since I got sick things have drastically changed between Josh, Daniel, and I.  It is so awkward that I just keep to myself now. When we are in the SM hut at the same time I put in my headphones and shove my face into a book. I rarely have conversations with them, the only time we talk is when there are other people present. It is really uncomfortable, but I am now getting the alone time I was wanting. (Let's be real the situation is really annoying, but maybe it is a blessing in disguise. Or this could be totally in my head. Everything could be peachy keen on their end and I am misconstruing things). 

[Power Complex]: Zach and Charis are chill. Actually Charis and I have been getting really close. Charis is the main one I hang out with. Our personalities aren't the best match, but we are figuring things out. I don't know if she is having less power complex moments, or if I am just getting use to it. However, things are good either way. 

[Return of the Netteburgs]: Danae and Olen have been great. After hearing all of the horror stories I was really surprised how much I like them. They are really kind and funny. Many SMs walk in with an entitlement complex and they are fed up with it. I don't think I have that complex, so things are great between us. Olen and I get along the best. He and I have very similar sense of humors. While I work in the OR he cracks jokes and picks on me while he teaches me about the procedures that are taking place. (Olen calls me the Fulani doctor because everyone thinks I am Fulani or Arab because of my complexion. I have a little more milk in my chocolate. He always comes to me and has me diagnose the patient. He says if my recommendation is wrong then he will send the angry patients to yell at me. He also lets me do random cool/nasty things like lancing a babies head or pushing a guys rectum back into his butt). Danae is a great teacher and very understanding about things. She lets me do a lot of things in the OR like suturing the patient, and is teaching me how to do vaginal exams. Sometimes I feel that Danae is holding things in and not saying everything that I feel she should say, but it hasn't caused any problems yet. Hopefully, it won't cause any problems in the future either.

So, basically, I mentally prepared for hell with the doctors and bliss with the SMs, but things are almost completely the opposite. (Or so it seems).  I work three days a week in the hospital and love every minute of it. Every Wednesday and Thursday evening I go to the bush and give public health lectures to the villagers. Monday and Wednesday mornings are dedicated to malnourished children and mothers in the baby formula program. (The program is for mothers with lactation problems or AIDS and children whose mother's have died). We feed the children nutritious buille, which is like a porridge, and play with them for a bit. I teach the people in the baby formula program how to crochet and sew different trinkets that are in turn sold to help fund the program. Tuesdays and Thursdays are still gymnastics days.

I decided to stop teaching English. After being sick for a month and not teaching I wasn't too excited about teaching again. I loved the children and teaching, but I felt I wasn't giving it my all anymore. Josh heard me slightly complaining about teaching and offered to teach my classes. It was hard for me to let go of my classes, but it was an offer I couldn't refuse. So now Josh teaches all of the English classes and I took over Sabbath school. I have more creative juices for Sabbath school, but I couldn't seem to get the juices flowing for English. 

I am currently looking for another translator. It is hard to find another Naomi. She is so busy with other jobs that she can't help me with my new program. It is a small business program for anyone who is in extreme poverty. I want to go out and talk with the villagers, one on one. I want to hear their stories and understand their struggles. If I am able to think of a way to help them with their predicament then I do. Danae received a large donation just for this. We want to give out purses with business starting tools in it and train the recipient how to start a thriving business. It is like that quote, "give the man a fish and he is full for one day, but teach him how to fish and he will be full for a lifetime." We want to teach them how to provide for themselves so they won't be dependent. All I need is a translator and the program will be up and running. Pray that I will be able to find the perfect translator for this job. It is hard enough to find a translator, but finding a good one is even harder. 

Back to Work

Finally I was able to have a full day in the hospital. For the past month I would almost pass out in the hospital, or would be so out of it I couldn't even go to work. However, now I am in good health and was able to learn a lot. First, I did rounds with Dr. Bland. There were so many things to see . . .

There was a little boy with a tumor protruding from his right eye. He also had another tumor coming out of the right side of his neck. They are giving him medication to help prevent tumor growth, but there are mixed feelings about operating. You never know how bad the medical problems are here. You base everything off of the little you can see and feel. It is a known fact that the little boy will die. He will die from the tumor if they don't operate, but he also has a really high chance of dying on the table if they do operate. We will see what happens, but as of now they aren't going to operate. 

There was also this guy with a huge abbess in his lower abdomen. Dr. Bland had already lanced it open the day before, but he didn't get all the puss out. So, we squeezed and pushed all of the puss out. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen! A ton of puss had already come out, then decay and rotten tissue had to be pulled out of the wound. After we pulled out the tissue more puss came gushing out of the wound. Disgusting!! Yet really interesting to see.

After rounds we started operating. Danae had me scrub up for a hysterectomy. The lady had a polyp or a cyst in her vagina, which was sticking out of her cervix. She already had over 10 kids and didn't want anymore, so the easiest way to fix the problem was to take the whole uterus out. We weren't sure if the mass was cancerous or not. 

I was really nervous about scrubbing in because last time I almost passed out while I was scrubbed in and the patient was a bleeder. I had felt a little faint the day before and didn't want to have another scare. So Danae had one of the visiting German doctors scrub in with us. During the operation I had to sit down twice because I was feeling faint. However, this time I didn't run off to go lay down. I was determined to make it through. 

After talking about how I was feeling and postulating why it was happening Danae pointed out it might be the heat. (I knew for a fact that it wasn't the blood). Although there is A/C in the OR it is very weak and almost useless. However, it is still very much appreciated. I guess I have a low heat tolerance. I will be perfectly fine for the first hour of surgery, but I quickly go down hill after that. 

Danae explained how she was the same way and you get can get used to the heat. It was a relief to hear that. She told me stories about her struggles to get through it and was really patient with me. (She was also faint with blood). Now that we know what my problem is, we can work to fix it. Honestly, it doesn't help that the so-called easy surgeries I scrub in for are much harder then expected. First with the 4cm cystectomy that was really around 2 1/2 in and then with this operation. Her uterus was fused to its surroundings, so the operation took close to 3 hours to complete. 

Anyways, long story short, although I was faint off and on Danae still allowed me to do many things. She let me suture the fascia and subcutaneous layer of the hysterectomy patient. It was great! I learned a lot. If I wasn't scrubbed in then Olen had medical books out teaching me different things about sutures, anesthesia, or the operation that was currently taking place. I hope I have more days like this.

Things are Looking Up

***I wrote this February 2, 2014, but I got sick and had no internet access. So I was unable to post it until now.

After my let's be real rant, I had a wonderful day. I felt like I got everything off my chest and out in the open. I felt great! I had no maladies and high energy. Throughout the day I had many happy and/or inspirational thoughts I wanted to blog about. I worked all day and had no time to write, so I planned to write them that night. I continued to repeat the thoughts in my mind to keep things fresh and flowing. 

That afternoon I got my malaria results. (It took long enough right?) It was positive, 0.05%. This was my first time with a positive test. The guys were finally able to stop joking about me having sickle cell, or the sickle cell trait. That was the only explanation they could think of for why I hadn't gotten malaria yet. 

I begged Olen not to give me quinine for two weeks, which is the usual dosage for a relapse on quinine. The only other medicine I could take was mefloquine, because I had the allergic reaction to malarone. (Malarone is also a weaker malarial medicine). I didn't know much about mefloquine other then it makes you crazy. To be specific you could hallucinate and/or have nightmares. I figured because you only have to take one dose of mefloquine it couldn't be worse then quinine. Boy was I wrong.  

I was out for a week! I had to take doxycycline (doxy) for two weeks after taking the one dose of mefloquine. I am use to taking doxy. I have been taking doxy for 80% of this trip because of the scalp infection that won't seem to go away. 

The combination of doxy and mefloquine was torture. I felt just as bad as I did on quinine, but 24/7. Typically with quinine you feel decent during the days and horrible at night. I longed for a break, even a second of peace would be welcomed. Sadly, the side effects never gave way. Here are the list of side effects for mefloquine and doxy, I starred everything I was tortured with at some point and time during my sickness:

Doxycycline:

*diarrhea

*itching of the rectum or vagina

sore mouth

Some side effects can be serious. If you experience any of these symptoms, call your doctor immediately:

*severe headache

*blurred vision

skin rash

hives

*difficulty breathing or swallowing

redness of the skin (sunburn)

yellowing of the skin or eyes

*itching

*dark-colored urine

*light-colored bowel movements

*loss of appetite

*upset stomach

*vomiting

*stomach pain

*extreme tiredness or weakness

confusion

*decreased urination

Mefloquine:

*nausea

*vomiting

*diarrhea

*stomach pain

*loss of appetite

*muscle pain

*dizziness

*loss of balance

*ringing in ears

*headache

*sleepiness

*difficulty falling or staying asleep

*unusual dreams

Some side effects can be serious. The following symptoms are uncommon, but if you experience any of them, call your doctor immediately:

*tingling in your fingers or toes

*difficulty walking

seizures

*shaking of arms or legs that you cannot control

nervousness or extreme worry

*depression

*changes in mood

panic attack

*forgetfulness

confusion

*hallucinations (seeing things or hearing voices that do not exist)

violent behavior

losing touch with reality

feeling that others want to harm you

thoughts of hurting or killing yourself

A lot of the side effects overlapped, however, I still had almost every side effect possible. To make things worse, I had to retake the doxy every time I threw up my medicine. I had to keep it down for an hour minimum or else I would be put on IV quinine. Mefloquine was still in my system. I didn't want to add quinine to my cocktail of misery. So I would take the doxy, clench my jaw, and pray that I wouldn't throw up again. I prayed without ceasing that I wouldn't have to take IV quinine. 

I lost so much wight that my pelvis was protruding when I laid down. The more I moved, the more dizzy I got. The more dizzy I got, the more nauseous I would get. (You can finish that chain of events). I would sit and stare at anything and everything. I didn't want to move, and I couldn't sleep although I was exhausted. I got around 3 hours of sleep the first two nights I was sick. 

All I wanted to do was lay on the floor. So, I stayed in my oven-like mud hut and stared at the roof. I didn't have a shower or a toothbrush at my hut. They were all at the SM hut. I attempted to go to the SM hut...it was a horrible decision. I felt even worse, and I rather have been alone then with the unsympathetic missionaries. (They were basically making fun of me for being so sick...it was the same as last time, but this time I felt even worse and didn't want to put up with it). I sat to regain my composure and a bit of energy, then stumbled back to my hut. Praise God I don't live that far away.

Throughout all of my struggle I wasn't mad or frustrated. (At least not as bad as last time). Yeah, at first I was a little depressed because of the medicine. I would be sitting around staring at nothing in particular and realize I was crying. I wasn't thinking of anything and had no reason to cry. I didn't know why I was crying, or how to stop it. All I knew was that I wasn't sad. 

Even though I didn't write the inspirational blog, I inspired myself. I was at perfect peace with my situation. I would analyze the situation to try and learn what I could do to make my sickness better. I figured out the foods I could keep down, and the foods that made me vomit. I found the perfect positions to lay in, which helped me fight the constant urge to vomit. And best of all, I was able to enjoy God's wonderful creations. 

I would lay outside in the shade of my hut watching the clouds, or be entertained by our animals during the hottest parts of the day. (We have 4 sheep, ducks, pigeons, and very mean chickens). I could watch the sunset and star gaze in the evenings and nights. It was wonderful. The wind drying the sweat on my body cooled me during the day. The stored heat would rise from the ground and warm me during the cool nights. 

Although I was sick, yet again, I wasn't discouraged. I'm doing fine. maybe the inspirational thoughts will come back so I can let you know what inspired me. However, after 8 days of medicinal side effects I don't remember it, and honestly don't feel the drive to write it down. Just know that things are looking up.

Most nights I couldn't sleep. At first I would hate it. I would listen to music to pass the time because I couldn't read. (Reading made me dizzy). Basically, there was nothing to do, but think. I had a full week to myself to be (mostly) alone and think. I thought through most of my life and talked to God. I began to enjoy the late nights because it was only God and I. Ya, I felt the side effects of the medication worse the next day because I had no sleep and wasn't eating, but I didn't mind.

***FAVORITE MOMENT WHILE I WAS SICK: Staring at Orion's belt (the constellation) telling Christ I can't wait for His return, and thinking about how wonderful it will be. 

Let's Be Real

***I wrote this January 29, 2014, but I got sick and had no internet access. So I was unable to post it until now.

I am sick again. Last week Tuesday I had almost passed out while working in the hospital. I was really pale and sweaty and my blood pressure was lower then usual. This Tuesday the same thing happened. Only this time I was scrubbed in. I was helping Danae with a surgery. There was a bleeder and Danae was trying locate where it was bleeding from.  My job was to move everything out of the way so she could see. Sounds simple right? Well that was when I started to go downhill. I was leaning against the patient because I could hardly stand, and was breathing really hard. I started to sweat bullets. I told Danae I was feeling bad, but tried to hang in there until the end. There was no one else who could take my spot.  

I had spoken to Danae earlier about feeling sick. All the horrible symptoms I had when I got malaria returned  yesterday (Monday). The sever body aches, the headache, everything.  It started off slow then quickly started to progress. I basically slept all day. In the end I admitted to myself that I probably relapsed. (I took quinine so I wouldn't relapse, but God is the only infallible thing in life). I decided that I would take the malaria test the next day (Tuesday) because the lab was closed.

The next morning, Tuesday morning, all of my malaria symptoms were gone except for the headache. This was weird because if I had malaria I should be feeling worse the next day, not better. This made me question if the first time was actually malaria, or a weird instance like now. That's the only reason I went to work in the hospital. I was feeling fine. When I told Danae what had happened the day before she said if I get a fever to go get tested for malaria. Other then that I should be fine.

The ovarian cystectomy I scrubbed in for was suppose to be a quick and easy surgery. That is why Danae asked me to scrub in. She wanted me to get experience. However, the 4cm cyst was 2 1/2in minimum. We didn't have the right tools, and there was no way of getting them. We had to use what we had. So, we were already in a bind when my health problems made it worse. 

Long story short, I stayed scrubbed in until Danae could finish the rest of the surgery by herself. Then I quickly left to go lay down. Everyone was staring at me because I was really pale and I had blood on my scrubs from the surgery. They didn't know what to think. 

After laying down for an hour I was feeling a little better. I wasn't feeling faint anymore, but I was really fatigued. I went to get tested and did the bare minimum for the rest of the day. For example, I went to gymnastics but I had one of the Bere boys spot for me. (When I say spot I mean make sure that the kids don't fall and hurt themselves). I showed him how to do it with the first person in line then had him do it to the rest of the children. 

By the end of the day I was exhausted and really nauseous. I was afraid I would faint or throw up if I kept moving. However, I needed to get my results for the malaria test. I asked one of the SMs to get it for me and  he said no. I asked another SM and got the same response. No one would get the test for me! I sat there for 10 minutes trying to gain energy to walk to the hospital, then left. (The hospital was next door. It wasn't  that far).

I went the Urgence and they didn't have my results. I went to the lab to see if they had my result and no one was there. (This was after I was told that the lab was now open 24/7). I was hot and sweaty by this point. I prepared to drop at any moment. Thank God I didn't. I made it back to the SM hut and sat down feeling even  worse by that point. I was so annoyed and fed up I started packing up my things to leave early. 

Anyways, I still don't know what I have and still feel horrible. I am sorry my past blogs have been so depressing, but things are getting pretty hard out here. I could take the health problems and the hardship Tchadian culture brings, but the SMs and missionaries are a different story. They flew around half of the world to come and serve people, but they are only serving themselves. They couldn't even take 3 minutes out of their night to get my test results. I know I have blogged before about the lack of missionary spirit and feeling extremely suffocated here, but things are only getting worse. 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right. I don't feel like I will die from this sickness...once I figure out what it is...so I guess I will be stronger. I just have to keep reminding myself to never fall to that level. Multiple times I have gone to get their test results when they were sick. I have slept on the floor for 3 nights next to one of the Project 21 leader when she got sick. I plan to continue to do the same thing.  

All in all, I titled my blog "Let's Be Real" for a reason. (Well, I had help from my friends. They came up with the name and I fell in love with it. It is one of the phrases I say all the time). I knew that there would be a lot of good during this trip along with the bad. I wanted to write about both. I wanted people to know the full story about SMing. Everyone comes back with all these amazing stories, or they completely hated it. There was no middle ground. I am trying to keep it 100%. I want to be transparent. I am speaking my mind. 

I know that right now many of my blogs seem to be negative. That is because things are starting to get really hard out here. Like I said, I feel I could deal with the sicknesses and the Tchadian hardships, however, sometimes the SMs and missionaries are a challenge. 

Truthfully, I am staying because I came to help the people of Bere in any way I could. I can't let anything detour me from my goal. Seeing how happy my students are when I walk into the classroom, or the children who come running when I start gymnastics keeps me going. How everyone thanks us multiple times for our health lectures, or how my host children run out to greet me as I come home from work. I can't even begin to explain how thankful Naomi and her yeast infection clinic are for the help. I can't let the missionaries stop me from bring the blessing God has planned for these people. I know I was brought here for a reason, and plan to stay and see that that reason is fulfilled. 

In short, I am sorry for all the negative posts, I want to make sure everyone understand the good and bad the mission field has to offer an how important it is to stay focused. I don't mean to scare people off, but I do want to prepare them. I want future SMs to be prepared for hardships so they won't want to leave. I want them to be firmly planted in God and His word so that no matter what they come up against they will be ready to take on anything and everything that is thrown at them. And for those who don't want to be missionaries, but support the mission field, I want them to fully understand what missionaries have to go through. Yes, we need monetary support as well as other donations, but we truly need your prays. Things can get really tough, and no matter how much money is donated, or medical and school supplies are given, only God can help us through.

"There is great need of workers, and there are many ways in which they can labor. There is work for those in the higher, as well as in the more humble positions. But we want none to come out to this field who have not a high sense of what it means to be a missionary. Individually, all need a heart work. A good work cannot be done by the human agent alone. For the full development and efficiency of the intellectual as well as the spiritual powers, there is, there must be, a vital connection with God, a communion with the highest source of activity. Then with the soul all aglow with zeal for the Master, we can be a blessing to others." – Ellen G. White {MMis December 1, 1892 Par. 11}