Things are Looking Up

***I wrote this February 2, 2014, but I got sick and had no internet access. So I was unable to post it until now.

After my let's be real rant, I had a wonderful day. I felt like I got everything off my chest and out in the open. I felt great! I had no maladies and high energy. Throughout the day I had many happy and/or inspirational thoughts I wanted to blog about. I worked all day and had no time to write, so I planned to write them that night. I continued to repeat the thoughts in my mind to keep things fresh and flowing. 

That afternoon I got my malaria results. (It took long enough right?) It was positive, 0.05%. This was my first time with a positive test. The guys were finally able to stop joking about me having sickle cell, or the sickle cell trait. That was the only explanation they could think of for why I hadn't gotten malaria yet. 

I begged Olen not to give me quinine for two weeks, which is the usual dosage for a relapse on quinine. The only other medicine I could take was mefloquine, because I had the allergic reaction to malarone. (Malarone is also a weaker malarial medicine). I didn't know much about mefloquine other then it makes you crazy. To be specific you could hallucinate and/or have nightmares. I figured because you only have to take one dose of mefloquine it couldn't be worse then quinine. Boy was I wrong.  

I was out for a week! I had to take doxycycline (doxy) for two weeks after taking the one dose of mefloquine. I am use to taking doxy. I have been taking doxy for 80% of this trip because of the scalp infection that won't seem to go away. 

The combination of doxy and mefloquine was torture. I felt just as bad as I did on quinine, but 24/7. Typically with quinine you feel decent during the days and horrible at night. I longed for a break, even a second of peace would be welcomed. Sadly, the side effects never gave way. Here are the list of side effects for mefloquine and doxy, I starred everything I was tortured with at some point and time during my sickness:

Doxycycline:

*diarrhea

*itching of the rectum or vagina

sore mouth

Some side effects can be serious. If you experience any of these symptoms, call your doctor immediately:

*severe headache

*blurred vision

skin rash

hives

*difficulty breathing or swallowing

redness of the skin (sunburn)

yellowing of the skin or eyes

*itching

*dark-colored urine

*light-colored bowel movements

*loss of appetite

*upset stomach

*vomiting

*stomach pain

*extreme tiredness or weakness

confusion

*decreased urination

Mefloquine:

*nausea

*vomiting

*diarrhea

*stomach pain

*loss of appetite

*muscle pain

*dizziness

*loss of balance

*ringing in ears

*headache

*sleepiness

*difficulty falling or staying asleep

*unusual dreams

Some side effects can be serious. The following symptoms are uncommon, but if you experience any of them, call your doctor immediately:

*tingling in your fingers or toes

*difficulty walking

seizures

*shaking of arms or legs that you cannot control

nervousness or extreme worry

*depression

*changes in mood

panic attack

*forgetfulness

confusion

*hallucinations (seeing things or hearing voices that do not exist)

violent behavior

losing touch with reality

feeling that others want to harm you

thoughts of hurting or killing yourself

A lot of the side effects overlapped, however, I still had almost every side effect possible. To make things worse, I had to retake the doxy every time I threw up my medicine. I had to keep it down for an hour minimum or else I would be put on IV quinine. Mefloquine was still in my system. I didn't want to add quinine to my cocktail of misery. So I would take the doxy, clench my jaw, and pray that I wouldn't throw up again. I prayed without ceasing that I wouldn't have to take IV quinine. 

I lost so much wight that my pelvis was protruding when I laid down. The more I moved, the more dizzy I got. The more dizzy I got, the more nauseous I would get. (You can finish that chain of events). I would sit and stare at anything and everything. I didn't want to move, and I couldn't sleep although I was exhausted. I got around 3 hours of sleep the first two nights I was sick. 

All I wanted to do was lay on the floor. So, I stayed in my oven-like mud hut and stared at the roof. I didn't have a shower or a toothbrush at my hut. They were all at the SM hut. I attempted to go to the SM hut...it was a horrible decision. I felt even worse, and I rather have been alone then with the unsympathetic missionaries. (They were basically making fun of me for being so sick...it was the same as last time, but this time I felt even worse and didn't want to put up with it). I sat to regain my composure and a bit of energy, then stumbled back to my hut. Praise God I don't live that far away.

Throughout all of my struggle I wasn't mad or frustrated. (At least not as bad as last time). Yeah, at first I was a little depressed because of the medicine. I would be sitting around staring at nothing in particular and realize I was crying. I wasn't thinking of anything and had no reason to cry. I didn't know why I was crying, or how to stop it. All I knew was that I wasn't sad. 

Even though I didn't write the inspirational blog, I inspired myself. I was at perfect peace with my situation. I would analyze the situation to try and learn what I could do to make my sickness better. I figured out the foods I could keep down, and the foods that made me vomit. I found the perfect positions to lay in, which helped me fight the constant urge to vomit. And best of all, I was able to enjoy God's wonderful creations. 

I would lay outside in the shade of my hut watching the clouds, or be entertained by our animals during the hottest parts of the day. (We have 4 sheep, ducks, pigeons, and very mean chickens). I could watch the sunset and star gaze in the evenings and nights. It was wonderful. The wind drying the sweat on my body cooled me during the day. The stored heat would rise from the ground and warm me during the cool nights. 

Although I was sick, yet again, I wasn't discouraged. I'm doing fine. maybe the inspirational thoughts will come back so I can let you know what inspired me. However, after 8 days of medicinal side effects I don't remember it, and honestly don't feel the drive to write it down. Just know that things are looking up.

Most nights I couldn't sleep. At first I would hate it. I would listen to music to pass the time because I couldn't read. (Reading made me dizzy). Basically, there was nothing to do, but think. I had a full week to myself to be (mostly) alone and think. I thought through most of my life and talked to God. I began to enjoy the late nights because it was only God and I. Ya, I felt the side effects of the medication worse the next day because I had no sleep and wasn't eating, but I didn't mind.

***FAVORITE MOMENT WHILE I WAS SICK: Staring at Orion's belt (the constellation) telling Christ I can't wait for His return, and thinking about how wonderful it will be.