Time is Short!!

Sorry my blogs seem to get shorter and shorter. I thought I was doing a lot of stuff in the beginning, but now I realize I was wrong. Ya, I did some stuff, however, it is nothing like what I am doing now. It just hit me that I only have one month left in Tchad. I have learned to love and/or accept both good and bad things that Bere (Tchad in general) has to offer. 

I have made close friends, which forces me to learn and use the language. We have many inside jokes. I have laughed and cried with these friends. From feasting together to comforting my friends at a loved one's funeral, we have gotten really close. I truly understand what Pastor Rich and everyone else meant when they said every SM goes through a cycle. I'm sure you can even recognize my stages based on blog posts alone.

It is sad to think about how short time truly is. Therefore, I am trying to do anything and everything with the time I have left. This means I have a lot to blog about, but very little time to do it in. (For example, I have a 5 year old Fulani son now. His name is Matidi. He is too cute and too fun to explain shortly. All you need to know for now is that everyone thinks he is Leonel's and my kid. Matidi favors both of us and is with us all the time). I don't even have a real day off anymore. Ya I get tired, but I am loving every minute of it.

I was able to find a wonderful translator for the new purse program. So every Sunday morning, for four hours,  we go out and walk around Bere finding people to talk to and possibly help. It has been a true blessing. I wish I could write individual stories about every person we have spoken with, and who we were able help. 

Also the crochet lessons are going really well. My plan is to teach them how to read crochet patterns so they can continue to learn and make new things after I have left. Therefore, I have been on the slow internet trying to download patterns and their corresponding pictures of various things. I am getting really stressed because I want them to learn and understand everything, but there is so little time. 

In regards to gymnastics we really want to get a show together before I leave. We haven't started working on a routine yet...so we have a month to get performance ready. It is exciting, but very rushed at the same time. The children really love gymnastics and it seems like there is someone new every time. (Not all of the children come consistently though, so most of the time it feels like the same amount of kids).

I know Danae wants to do a children's church and is hoping the SMs will help. That means it will be before we leave. There is so much for me, and everyone else, to do and so little time. I have started many blogs, but haven't finished any. I really want to post pictures and have a lot to say, but I guess you might have to wait until I get back to hear all of my stories. I will hopefully finish some more posts very slowly and post them. However, just know that I am doing great now. I am just trying to enjoy every second I have left here.

Something Fishy is Happening

Something fishy is going on in Bere. I have decided to label it demon possession. Whether it is truly demon possession or not this situation still needs your prayers. More girls have been leaving school, and even coming to the hospital, due to demon possession. Honestly, at first I thought that many people were putting on a show for attention or to get out of tests. People love putting on shows here. 

For example, there was a woman in labor who refused to push. It was her first child. She had been fully dilated for hours and the baby made no progress. Everyone kept saying the baby wasn't coming because there wasn't enough room for its head to fit. But Danae knew what was truly going on. The woman wasn't pushing although she could push. We had to basically drag the woman to the OR and use forceps. It took 9 people to get the baby out. 7 or the 9 people were holding the woman down. Instead of pushing the baby out during contractions she would push the nurses and I away. In the end Danae and Dr. Bland pulled the baby out themselves because the woman didn't want to listen or help the process go faster. She had a fourth degree localized rip because she refused to push the baby out!! Basically her vagina and anus because one big hole!! I have never come across a more difficult patient in the duration of my trip!!

Anyways, back on track, there are no mental health institutes (or even psychologists) here or anywhere in Tchad. So we don't really know if it is show, truly demon possession, or a bad mental disorder. However, I honestly think that Esther has a demon.

We know, or at least think, Esther's is legit because she has snapped out of her episodes in time to take her exams. She has been able to take all her test this week. Also, her father is threatening to disown her because she is refusing to go to the traditional healer.  I don't think she would give up her family and a livelihood just for a little attention. She has also had episodes of extreme strength... It could still be a mental disorder, but I don't think it is. 

I thought the first few other girls were seeing the attention Esther was getting and wanted some attention too. Or they saw it as a reason to get out of tests. But more and more girls were rushed to the hospital because of demon possessions. Even girls from nearby public schools were coming to the hospital due to what we think were episodes due to demonic possession. In total, we had 16 girls sent to the hospital for demon possession and many more were sent home. The Adventist school even canceled school because there were so many people getting sick.

This is really affecting everyone around us. Girls are afraid to touch each other because they don't want to get possessed. They think that even with a simple handshake you can get possessed. The men think that they can touch the girls and won't get possessed, which is good. However, I think they believe only girls can get possess. I don't know what their reasoning is behind this thought. Also, this situation gives men even more reason to push women even lower and lower in society. Some say it is because the girls don't pray, or were weak?? Ugh...I was honestly too frustrated to fully listen and understand the reasoning behind all of the things said. 

All I know is this is bigger than people trying to get out of tests or seeking attention. I feel that the devil is at play in this situation although it doesn't sound like the typical demon possessions I have heard stories about in the past. A few had extra strength, and none of their voices changed. A few had to be held down, but many were walk or carried into the hospital. However, all of them were prayed for.

I think the devil knows his time is getting shorter and shorter. Therefore, he is working even harder to win more souls. Demonic possession isn't as frequent (or easily overlooked) in America. However, it is a very real and very big problem in Tchad. Because of this, I truly don't know what to do or say other then to pray for the girls. I hope you will continue to keep Bere and all of Tchad in your prayers as well.

Pray for Esther!

There is a girl at the Adventist school, Esther, who struggles with satanic possession. She has tried many things and can't seem to get ride of her demonic squatters. Just today she had an episode at school. She took off her clothes and ran around campus in her bra and underwear. Some of the staff saw what was taking place and tried to stop her. First, they had to chase after her all around campus. Then they had to hold her tight as they tried to talk to and pray for her. She was trying to wrench her arms from their grip. Esther ended up falling on the floor from fighting their grip.

In the end she snapped out of it. She even asked why the teachers had her on the ground although she was the one who got on the ground. She didn't remember anything about her episode. After hearing what had happened she thanked the teachers for praying for her. 

Esther realizes that pray is the only thing that can help her. All she can turn to is God. However, her family thinks she is crazy for trusting in the power of prayer. They want her to go to a witch doctor. Although Esther continues to refuse visiting the witch doctor her parents won't give up. They put various "remedies" they received from the witch doctor into her meals and drinks. She has to be very careful now and her prayers have become more intense.

Just like Esther, I and the other missionaries believe in the power of prayer. All of the missionaries have signed up for a hour slot to pray for Esther. That doesn't mean we are praying for her for a full hour. It just means that every hour God is hearing a plea for Esther from somebody's lips. I am hoping that even more people will start praying for her as well. That is why I am posting this blog. Please remember Esther and keep her in your prayers. 

Pray for Esther!

There is a girl at the Adventist school, Esther, who struggles with satanic possession. She has tried many things and can't seem to get ride of her demonic squatters. Just today she had an episode at school. She took off her clothes and ran around campus in her bra and underwear. Some of the staff saw what was taking place and tried to stop her. First, they had to chase after her all around campus. Then they had to hold her tight as they tried to talk to and pray for her. She was trying to wrench her arms from their grip. Esther ended up falling on the floor from fighting their grip.

In the end she snapped out of it. She even asked why the teachers had her on the ground although she was the one who got on the ground. She didn't remember anything about her episode. After hearing what had happened she thanked the teachers for praying for her. 

Esther realizes that pray is the only thing that can help her. All she can turn to is God. However, her family thinks she is crazy for trusting in the power of prayer. They want her to go to a witch doctor. Although Esther continues to refuse visiting the witch doctor her parents won't give up. They put various "remedies" they received from the witch doctor into her meals and drinks. She has to be very careful now and her prayers have become more intense.

Just like Esther, I and the other missionaries believe in the power of prayer. All of the missionaries have signed up for a hour slot to pray for Esther. That doesn't mean we are praying for her for a full hour. It just means that every hour God is hearing a plea for Esther from somebody's lips. I am hoping that even more people will start praying for her as well. That is why I am posting this blog. Please remember Esther and keep her in your prayers. 

Pastor Rich's Visit

I was able to see Pastor Rich this week. (For those of you that don't know who Pastor Rich is, he is my school chaplain and is also in charge of the SMs). It was a very short, but very fun visit. Although his ticket said he would be in Tchad for four days (5 depending on how you count the days), only one of those days was spent in Bere. 

It was women's day during his day visit. Therefore, he was able to see and do more then a typical Sabbath day. A woman preached in church, which is really rare/never happens in Tchad, and Danae bought presents for all the women in the congregation. The sad thing about Bere, or at least near the hospital, many people aren't very appreciative. Most women just took the gift and left without saying thank you. It was an expensive gift (for Tchad) and you would expect them to be more thankful. 

Thankfully, there were many gifts left over, so we went to the bush to pass out the left overs. We drove 5 or 6 km and began handing out the presents. You could really see the difference between people near the hospital and people in the bush. Everyone in the bush was very grateful. All the women said thank you multiple times. Some even shrilled and danced with excitement. 

After that experience Pastor Rich and I were suppose to go to a traditional party. I wanted him to see and try the traditional dances. Although I asked many times (and was told) wheter the festivities would be after sundown they weren't. By the time we returned from passing out the presents (basically sundown), the party was ending. But to make things more interesting there was an emergency operation that Pastor Rich was able to scrub in for. It was a strangulated hernia, and the perfect surgery for him to be a surgeon's aid.

Hernias are typically short and easy to do. So there wasn't to much stress about messing up or things going wrong. Pastor Rich did a wonderful job. He looked like a pro surgeon....well he looked like a pro if you didn't watch what he was doing with his hands. He was holding the clamps and compresses with confidence though. Overall I think Pastor Rich really enjoyed himself. We both had a great time. 

My Apologies

So...I have a lot of apologizing to do. Today I was approached about many things that I have done, written, or said. I was too close to circumstance or situations and I knew it too. Although I let things rest for a week or two I still wasn't able to see the full picture. Even now after being told about things it is hard for me to understand or fully grasp their meaning, although I am trying to. (Ok, let's be real, I knew that there was a problem with my writing because my mom called me out on it last week. However, I didn't realize how deep the problem really was until now. That is why I wrote the clarification post trying to remedy the situation and stuff like that. I should have approached it in a different way, and probably would have if I had heeded my mother's warning).

In regards to my blogs, I was writing how I speak. I say stuff to get it off my chest and then move on. However, I didn't think about how everyone could see what I have written. In my mind I was writing to close friends and family. They knew how I am and understood, why I said or wrote the things I did. (Although I'm sure the though that everyone could see it was somewhere in the back of my mind. However, I didn't give the thought much attention). Like I said, I say what I need to say to get things off my chest, and then move on. That isn't a good thing, even saying some of the things I wrote is bad in itself. Just yesterday Charis read a section of Steps to Christ to me and it really hit home. 

The passage talked about how you should be careful what you say out loud because Satan can take those doubts and use them against you. We have also been talking about not complaining. When I took the test to see how much I complained my results said that I complain a bit, but for the most part I was good. I don't know if I have been lying to myself or how I got those results. But I do know that I complain more than I realize and it is a problem. Yeah, I try not to dwell on the situation, but I still complain. Literally, last night I prayed to God to help me become more like him. I don't want to be known as a complainer or anything else that isn't in His likeness. I was having trouble sleeping because I was thinking about that and various other things. (I still went to sleep pretty early because I have had trouble sleeping lately). And when I woke up God started showing me all the things I need to change.

They are all connected in a way, so it seems like a lot to me. But it probably isn't as much work as I think it is. Anyways, one of my main problems was that I had a plank in my eye. I had more than a plank in my eye; my eyes were (and still are) plastered shut with cement. I don't know how I was able to find the speck in everyone else's eyes, but somehow I did. 

I have known that I have a really hard time getting my point across when I write. In my head I am writing one thing, but my audience is reading the total opposite of what I mean. Between my cemented eyes and unclear writing skills, I have lead everyone to believe that I am something I'm not. In the past I would never call myself prideful although I knew I wasn't totally humble. I would call myself a work in progress. Now I realize how prideful I truly am. I had to be slapped back to reality because I was too far gone to see the truth. 

I know I am being very vague right now, but every time I try to be more specific I start to cry. I'm usually not an emotional person, but I guess that is one of the many changes that took place during this trip. I cried so hard that I began sobbing and almost induced an asthma attack. I haven't done that since I was a kid... Anyways, the truth hurts, but it can also set you free. So, I have a lot of work to do now that I recognize my downfalls. If I have wronged you in any way I will seek you out to make things right. It wasn't my intention to hurt people, but I now realize I have. And for that I am truly sorry. 

PS: I have a lot of people to apologize to, so if I have wronged you in any way and haven't come to apologize please let me know. I don't want to overlook anyone. 

My Crazy Vacation

Danae and Olen gave us a week off for a vacation. They said that most SMs get really homesick and run down around this time of year. Therefore, they are trying something new to help the SMs make it to the end of their trip. 

We had full rein for where we wanted to go and what we wanted to do during our vacation. There aren't many options in Tchad. There was either Moundou, N'Djamena, or Zakouma, which is the only national park in Tchad. Zakouma is a really expensive trip so we narrowed it down to N'Djamena and Moundou. In the end the guys decided they wanted to go to N'djamena while the girls went to Moundou. 

My vacation week was very interesting. Before leaving for Moundou we decided to go to the grand marché. It was a very new and interesting experience. Naomi was with acting as our tour guide. She showed us where we could find everything in the market and explained what everything was. After looking around for a bit we stopped by the delegate's house to wash our feet and get water. The delegate was very generous and let me buy an axe from him. No one had seen an ax carved in that fashion and the guy who carved it had died. It was a very special ax.

Moundou was crazy! Tammy and Jaime were planning on going to Moundou the same day as Charis and I, so they drove us down. We went around and shopped with each other and filled the pick up to the brim with souvenirs and stuff for the hospital. Then after lunch at the Gardener's house Tammy and Jamie took all that we bought home with them. (The Gardeners, Scott and Becky, are the new doctors at the Adventist hospital in Moundou. They let us stay on their compound for free and made sure we had everything we needed).

We ate a full pizza the first meal then got egg sandwiches and drank two smoothies the next. Honestly, the only reason we went to Moundou was to eat. There is no cheese, eggs, or smoothies in Bere. (Well there are smoothies in Bere, but they are giardia flavored). We ate anything and everything that Bere didn't have to offer. We went to the Coton Tchad club, which had a tennis court, free internet, and a swimming pool (that wasn't filled with water yet). There were a lot of non-Tchadians there and I had slight culture shock. 

Charis and I walked to the market for a second look. Everyone was staring at us and honking trying to get our attention. We are always show stopper in Tchad. However, we just ignored the men and enjoyed the walk. They are like annoying flies to us. At one point a teenage boy tried to steal money from Charis. 

We were looking at shoes in the market and he acted like he was trying to pick up shoes that were right in front of Charis' purse. I told Charis to watch out and snatched her purse out the way. I gave the boy a dirty look and we quickly walked off before he could try anything else. He was shock that a nasara caught him. 

Moundou is a crazy city! It is the second largest city in Tchad and you have to be wary of everyone. It is the total opposite of Bere. Once in a while you hear about someone stealing something, but in Moundou if they aren't thieves then they cheat you with inflated prices or bad products. It is a very sad, but true reality. 

We decided to take a clando back to the hospital. (A clando is a motorcycle taxi). Both Charis and I hopped on the back of the moto and settled down. We drove for 3 seconds and were hailed by an officer. The officer was on a moto too and riding next to us. He was speaking very quickly and I didn't know what he was saying. The clando driver responded very short to the police man and took off. 

He was weaving through traffic and kept looking back to see if the police man was chasing after him. Every time he looked back we almost crashed. I was holding a souvenir gourd basket in my hand and almost hit multiple pedestrians and motorcyclists with it. I tried my best to move it out of the way, but there was no where to put it. Both Charis and I were just screaming and trying to find anything and everything to hang on too. It felt like we were in Fast and Furious or Need for Speed. Maybe it was more like turbo; we were the snail trying to avoid the big cars.

Praise God we made it to the hospital safely! We paid the man and quickly ran into the compound. We weren't sure if the police man was after us or the clando driver. Later Becky told us the officer was trying to stop us because there were three people on the moto. You are only allowed to ride two people per moto. That is a rule in Bere too, but they aren't as strict as in Moundou. We ride three on a moto all the time, so we didn't realize that's what the police officer was trying to say. 

Another thing Becky told us was that she felt impressed to pray for us during that moment. She didn't know why, but she sent up a prayer for us anyways. God put a hedge of protection around us and sent many angels down from heaven to protect us during our flight. Praise God!

The power of pray is amazing. Although prayers don't change God's mind it can change your mind. And from there you can change things. Prayer does internal work. I like how Oswald Chambers describes it in his book If You Will Ask. He compares prayer to falling in love. The circumstances are the same, but they way you think about the person has changed. I know both Charis and I were definitely praying on the moto. After talking to Becky about our experience we started talking about how powerful the situation was. Things really hit home after that experience. I know you probably don't understand unless something similar happened to you, but prayer is a powerful thing. It reveals the character of God. If we were less me-centered when we pray and ask for the life of God in us imagine what a blessing our life would be. The changes prayers like that would bring would be incredible! I know it is against our "natural tendencies" and will be hard. However, based on this experience and the little taste of what prayer can do I know that it is worth it. 

Another blessing during our vacation was we ran into the accountants of Bere hospital at the Adventist hospital in Moundou. It turns out they were leaving the same day as us. Therefore, we were able to travel with each other back to Bere, help translate things and ensure our safety. Honestly, it was a bigger blessing then I thought it was.

Charis and I weren't really sure whether it was better to take a car taxi or the bus. Honestly, we didn't even know were the taxi and bus station was. We were just going to ask the clando man where to go and hope it was the right place. Once we figured out which form of transportation to take, we planned to take clandos from Kelo to Bere. (All transportation stops in Kelo, which is about a hour away from Bere. So you have to find someone in specific that is willing to drive you the rest of the way). That was the plan Charis and I had. Now let me explain what really happened, and why it was a major blessing having the accountants with us. 

There were no buses leaving at the time we needed, so we had to find a car taxi. However, there were none there. Hwamo, one of the accountants, called his goto taxi driver who drove us to Kelo. We were squeezed into the car. The four of us were in back, while three other random people were crammed into the front. (Hwamo is easily 6' 5" and he had no leg room. I don't know how he made it through the 2 hour car drive).

As soon as stepped out of the car (in Kelo) we were swamped by people. Most of them were clando drivers, but all of them men seeking an American wife. Hwamo quickly found us another car to take us to Bere and rushed us into it. (If you haven't noticed Hwamo was Mr. bossman). We were sitting in the car for 15 minutes baking in the heat because the driver wasn't ready to go. Everyone wanted to get into our business. The clando drivers were trying to get us to take motos instead of the car for cheaper, or they were trying to talk to Charis and I. 

At one point they opened the car door and were tell me to get out. (I was on the end, Charis was in the middle, and Jacque, the other accountant, was on the other end). I didn't know what to do. Jacque reached across the car and pulled the door shut for me. I quickly locked the door. After that people reached their arms through the front window attempting to unlock my door. I had to put my hand over the lock and smack people's hands away. Finally, Hwamo got really frustrated and said something to all the men. I don't know what he said, but somehow he got all the men to go away! Then Hwamo said something to the driver and he reluctantly came to drive us to Bere. Sigh...all I can say is praise God Charis and I didn't have to travel alone.  God is continually working in my life to keep me safe, and I know he is doing the same in yours as well. 

Quick update on the yeast infection clinic!

God has blessed me with generous friends and family. I have received over $300 in donations. Naomi and I were able to do more than we ever dreamed of doing with the money. The yeast infection clinic use to be run out of Naomi's house after the missionary couple left. People would come knocking on her door at various hours of the day (and night) pleading her for treatment. She would invite them in, give them food and a place to stay on top of medication. It was a nice thing to do, but it intruded on Naomi's life and the lives of her children. She and her kids would accommodate for whoever showed up, which meant less sleep and comfort for them. 

Thankfully, we had enough money to build a building for the infection clinic all because of your donations. It is still near Naomi's house, however, the patient, Naomi, and her family can all be comfortable now. We were able to buy enough supplies and natural remedies to treat hundreds of people. From huge cases of vinegar and syringes to citron trees, we have all that we need for infection clinic can be self-sustaining.

The building is still in construction, but pictures are soon to follow this post. Once it is finished I will post pictures of the building itself and the many other things your donations have provided. We are now able to brainstorm of ways to help people who can't pay for the treatment and ways to teach prevention. There are many people who have yeast infections that are embarrassed to seek help. We are brainstorming how to reach those people as well. 

For example, after one of our health lectures in the bush our CHWs (community health workers) and TBAs (traditional birth attendants) approached us. One of the CHWs asked us why his wife seems to be infertile after she stopped taking contraceptives. They have been trying to have children for two years now without results. I replied that there can be many reasons why they are unable to have children. Therefore, they should ask the doctors for more specifics. However, I listed a few things that can cause infertility in women and men. One of the things I listed was infections. 

I quickly explained how infections can add many complications to pregnancies and other simple concept they may have not known. It turned out that his wife seemed to be suffering from yeast infections, therefore the CHW probably had a yeast infection too. Naomi and I told him to come for treatment and thanked him for his honesty. We explained how many people are embarrassed and don't want to talk about things like that. Because they keep their mouths shut they are never able to fix the problem they have been suffering with. I told the CHWs and TBAs to try and keep their ears to the ground for people with medical problems they aren't addressing.

After my comment about people being embarrassed about their medical problems, genital problems in specific, one person after another admitted that they had a problem as well. The whole group, 8 people in total, were struggling with yeast infections. If all the workers in that quartier (small district in Bere) had yeast infections you can imagine how many people in the community have the same problem. Your donations are helping to change many people's lives.