This is it!

This is kind of a bittersweet ending. I am so excited to see friends and family, but I hate leaving the place I learned to call home. My last night in Bere revealed how many lives God has touched through me. I worked a half day in the hospital and said bye to all my hospital friends. I took a ton of pictures to remember each and every face.

I went to lunch with my adopted family, and we ate a five course meal. It was really hard to say good-bye. Naomi started crying multiple times. Let's be real, I was close to tears as well while I held my sobbing Tchadian mother in my arms.

Packing was a blur. I think I packed everything I wanted, but I don't know for certain. I wanted to get it done and go back to talking and saying bye to everyone. I played a movie for my family and they made me a special meal for dinner. We had a great time. Multiple people showed up to my compound just to say bye! They didn't see me during the day and wanted to make sure they were able to say bye. Naomi even ran back to the SM hut from her house (3 km) after sundown to say bye again. She was also at the bus stop bright and early to see us off. 

Teary eyed I got on the bus and waved goodbye to my Tchadian friends, family, and home. As the familiar scenery faded in the distance and I began to reflect on my time spent in Tchad. I have learned many things and have change in many ways. During the course of my stay I have learned to love and/or accept what Tchad had to offer. 

I learned to love my mud hut. Let's be real, I learned to love all mud huts. I would check out mud huts as I walked around Bere commenting about what I like best about the compound's design. Although I used to hate maxi skirts they are my new best friend. I learned to love boule and sauce. Eating with my hands were a trial at first, but I got the hang of it. In the beginning I would use a few fingers to avoid dirtying my whole hand. It never worked. I had to get close and personal with my food. I had to get it all over me to learn the proper way to eat with your hands. I didn't always eat with my hands. I learned to love using a spoon to eat spaghetti-like pasta and other difficult things to eat with a spoon. 

I learned to love sleeping outside on the floor. You have no privacy outside, but I learned to not care. I learned to ignore and enjoy the moment. I could lay on my back and enjoy the bright stars or full moon. Even the cloudy nights had a tranquil essence that I enjoyed. I was truly bless by nature. From scary motto drives to traditional dances to even walking around barefoot all the time I learned to love them all. 

I have learned to accept the things I cannot change such as the corruption, poverty, malnutrition, and the poor treatment of women. Although that doesn't mean I stopped trying to change those things. I realized that it is a fight that needs many warriors. I would continue to do my part, but I wouldn't kill myself over it. 

In a country riddled with extreme poverty and corruption I found the meaning of true joy. There are wants and needs that aren't met, but many Tchadians are happy for any form of aid. Even when in my eyes the aid given seems useless they will have the biggest smile on their face. Some will even shout for joy and dance around. Even when nothing is giving you can see they are still happy with the little the have. (Although when they see a nasara many people will ask for something...it is hard to explain, but I promise many people seem to live happy lives with the little they have).

Tchad is a crazy place, but thank God "we are not salt." Naomi's saying is a perfect illustration. The clouds may roll in and the storms may come, but we won't dissolve. Poverty, malnutrition, and corruption are constantly pouring rain on the people of Tchad. Many missionaries have come to try and make a difference. However, there is a lot of work to do. Praise God these people aren't salt. They have and will continue to hold on until help comes in whatever form it may be. Tchadian's are strong people. They won't dissolve because they are not salt.

Selena

Selena is one of the laundry ladies for the compound. While I was in Moundou (over a month ago...sorry for the delay) I was able to hear her story and I felt really compelled to share it on my blog. About 4 or 5 years ago Selena's husband died leaving her with twins to care for. (The storyteller was unsure if she had other kids on top of the twins to care for). Just like during biblical times, in Tchad the wife marries the husband's brother to carry on the husband's name.

So Selena moved into her brother-in-law's house after they got married. The brother-in-law, or her new husband, was an alcoholic. And, of course, like many alcoholics here he would get really drunk and beat Selena. One day he got out of control.

The brother-in-law came home drunk, stripped Selena, and dragged her outside. He threw her on the floor and proceeded to beat her with a hoe. All of their neighbors came outside to see what all of the commotion was about. There were many in the audience, but no one ran to Selena's aid. 

Her husband was yelling, "I'm going to kill you," and beating her mercilessly. Thankfully, something changed his mind. Selena was at death's doorstep when came to his senses. Therefore, he stuffed her into a pousse-pousse (it is like a wheelbarrow but with two wheels) and rushed her to the hospital. 

Although he took Selena to the hospital, he didn't want to pay the hospital bill. He told Tammy something happened to Selena and he needed help paying the hospital bill. He didn't want to tell her that he was the cause of it. Tammy ran to the hospital to see if Selena would be ok and how she could help. As soon as Tammy heard how Selena got hurt she was furious. Tammy didn't want to help the husband by paying the bill because he caused the injuries. Yet, she knew that if she didn't pay the bill Selena's husband would let her die.

So Tammy decided that she would pay the hospital bill and take the brother-in-law's pousse-pousse as collateral. She told the husband she would return the pousse-pousse to him after the settled his debt. He agreed to Tammy's terms and Selena got the care she needed. 

Selena's husband came to work off his debt a few days later. Tammy told him to wash laundry and sweep the compound, but he refused. He said that those were jobs for woman. Tammy told him that he was the one who caused Selena to miss work, therefore, he had to do Selena's job while she recovers. He didn't appreciate her responce, but he grinned and bared it. He worked off all his debt.

Selena didn't go back to her husband, although everyone was pressuring her to return. Even the hospital chaplain said that she had to return. If she wanted to be a good wife and honor God then she needed to return. In the end she said that only Tammy and Naomi, which were the only ones that helped her, loved her and everyone else didn't. She was going to listen to what her love ones were saying. She refused to return to her husband and believed that the Lord still loved her for the decision she made. 

However, after living on her own for 2 years she returned to her husband. Tammy ensure that Selena had everything she needed to make it on her own, but the social pressures got to her. Everyone shunned her and talked behind her back. They would say things like, "she thinks she is better then everyone else because she works for the white lady." Although she heard her husband say next time he would finish the job (i.e. kill her) with her own ears, she rather be accepted by everyone and lose her life then be shunned by most of the community. 

Currently, Selena is still alive and working in the compound, but we never know what tomorrow will bring. Women are suppose to be equal now. There is even a celebration for women's day on March 8, but it is only empty actions and words. Women are still at the bottom of the totem pole, and young little girls are the lowest of low. 

Even women abuse little girls. To think that they would sympathize with the girls because they have gone through the same thing. They know how it feels,. However, that is rarely the case. For example, a little girl was caught stealing something in the market. Obviously the little girl was hungry and felt stealing food was the only way to get what she needed. The little girl's aunt wanted to teach her a lesson she would never forget. So, she tied straw to the little girl's fingers and lit them on fire.... Yes the little girl learned a lesson, but she also lost the use of her hands. She can't work to earn money to buy the things she needs in the market. Living in Tchad has opened my eyes to our cruel reality. I hear story after story about how people are misused and abused. There is a need for rules and standards to help the helpless that can be enforced somehow.

Things in Tchad remind me of Levitical times. I have been reading through the book of Leviticus and have made many connections. For instance, eye for an eye can be applied to everyone, however, I think it was written for women and servants specifically. Those are the main people who are misused and abused.

God understood the burden women had during Levitical times. That is why he made certain rules that don't really make sense to use in this day and age (some still make sense). Living in Tchad I realized that it was a blessing to be consider unclean during your period or after giving birth. Women were able to get a break from their husbands. They had a couple days, or months, rest from beatings or fulfilling their husbands sexual drives. Instead of nowadays, when periods feel like curses and I'm sure childbirth isn't desired either, yet women welcomed it with open arms. I see how after having a baby women strap their newborn on their back and get back to work. Their husbands begin having sex with them before they have finished healing from giving birth. Tchadian women need laws similar to those found in Leviticus. They have few rights and large burdens to carry. Tchadian women have to endure a lot. They are very strong people, but they need a break.

****I wanted to write a Levitical series and show the correlations between Tchad and Levitical times. However, I stopped writing and/or ran out of time. So...at least I posted one right?

Praise Report

So today I stepped out of my comfort zone. I know it may not be a big deal to you guys, but it was to me. Therefore, I am going to tell you my story, however, it will be very succinct.

As I posted earlier Charis has left to America. Normally every Monday afternoon we go to the hospital and color with the children. At first we tried to color at pediatrics, but it didn't work out. Most of the children were really sick and had no energy to color. So we started coloring with the children over at the surgery ward. (Now it is mostly mothers who come, but at least we are making someone happy).

With Charis being gone I had to go and color alone. First of all, I am a shy extrovert. I'm not very outgoing, however I will talk to you if you talk to me. Second of all, I hate doing many various things alone. In short, I really didn't want to color without Charis although I knew I should. There was a mental warfare raging as I tried to talk myself into going to color with the children. 

I prayed long and hard, then sucked it up and walked over to the hospital. As I walked I prayed that God would send one of the kids who have been at the hospital a long time to help me. As soon as I walked through the fence Madini, my fake son, came running towards me. I was comforted by his presence although I knew he couldn't help me call all the children over. Another kid was waiting for me at the spot we usually color. Soon, one by one, people started coming. I didn't have to call anyone over. God did the work for me. Let's be real, I would have colored with my son and the other kid and be perfectly fine. I would have told myself at least I came to color and leave good enough alone, but praise God He is strong in my weakness. I had to take initiative and He helped me the whole way through. 

Quick Update

After my two week break I decided to dedicate a day to catch up on my blogs. Let's be real, I'm only posting a summary about everything I would have written about. From the demon possessions to the so real feeling I have about leaving. 

Demon possessions - So the whole country shut down school for a week because of the mass hysteria that was going on. Once school started again the craziness commenced also. I had stopped trying to put a label on whatever was going on. Whatever it was the devil seemed to be on the winning side of the girls lives. The situation almost split the church and all of Bere. 

One day, one of my friends was carried to the hospital due to demon possession. Charis, Naomi, and I decided we should go over to the hospital and pray with her. (We had been praying for all the girls, but we wanted to physically be there for our friend). That is how I was able to see firsthand how the doctors treated this situation. 

I have to commend the doctors. It is a tough situation to deal with, and I feel like they handled it really well. Honestly, at first I was a little confused about their tactics, but I knew they had a reason behind their actions. Basically, Olen was yelling and asking my friend what her name was. She started to act up and get crazy again, so he pushed her down onto the hospital bed. He continued to scream and ask his questions as he inflicted a little bit of pain, whether it was bending the finger back or a finger pinch.

The church elders were all over Charis and I trying to make us see their side of things. They were mad that Olen kicked them out of the room because it was demon possession and a matter for prayer. We told them we were staying out of the situation. If they really felt compelled they should discuss it with the doctors at a more appropriate time. (Honestly, I wondered why they took all the girls to the hospital if they thought the only thing the girls needed was prayer).

The next day, Olen explained his actions during staff meeting while Danae went to talk with the children at the Adventist school. Danae answered all the teenagers questions and told the girls that if anyone else faked a demon possession they would be kicked out of school. Olen used the Bible as his support. He pointed how Jesus asked a possessed man what is your name and the response was Legion, not the man's name. That is why his first question to all the girls was what is your name. He continued to go through the Bible, story after story, showing how in the Bible the demon possessed cut themselves, threw themselves on the fire, or had no sense of pain. Within 10 seconds most of the girls would be telling him their name and answering all of Olen's question with the slightest bit of pain. 

After giving his argument for why he felt it wasn't demon possession, he continued to explain why he felt these girls were putting on a show. He used my friend as an example because everyone knew her. (She lives with her uncle who use to work in the hospital). She is far from her immediate family. Her father isn't around and the uncle she was living with took off for other reasons not involving her. Basically, she has no male influence in her life. However, when she throws herself on the floor and fakes a devil possession all her male classmate run to hold her down. The men of the church come and pray for her during her attack, and after every man is concerned for her. Boys and men come to visit her and ensure she is doing ok. It makes sense to do if you desperately want attention, but the girls obviously didn't think of the repercussions. No one will want to marry someone who is/was devil possessed. So they had a short moment of attention and then they will be even worse off from when they started.

It has been two weeks since these talks and there have been no more demon possessions. 

Gymnastics - We weren't able to get a show together because of the craziness with the girls. I am a little bummed about it, but I thank God for the time I had with the kids. They still come to gymnastics excited to practice and learn something new.

Crochet classes - I have been trying to write a pattern book for all the woman. I want to make sure they can continue on their own after I leave. I have made a pretty decent pattern book on my iPad, but the lady I wanted to teach how to read it got sick. Basically, she got a few splinters from pounding boule. The stick splintered while she was using it and the cuts got infected. Her thumb had doubled in size due to swelling and infection. For two weeks she was unable to come to class because she couldn't crochet. At first the sante-sante was only giving her Ibuprofen shots! Her hand kept getting worse and worse. I heard the she was only getting Ibu and said something to Naomi, but I'm not sure if the woman was told. Either way the next week she her hand was looking much better when she came to class. She was even able to crochet. So I pray that I can teach her and Naomi everything they need to know before I leave.

 

Party - I threw a small traditional Tchadian party at my house this past Saturday night. Let's be real, I tried to make it traditional, but what I imagined in my head isn't what took place. Most of my friends work in the hospital, so they were all called in for an emergency and were unable to come. Therefore, my party was composed of mostly party crashers and children. At first I was really upset, but I still had a lot of fun and enjoyed myself. I invited these amazing drummers for music, but they never came... I don't know what happened to them. Naomi said that they had confirmed they were coming Sabbath morning, but something must have happened. Our thoughts is someone died and they had to go and play for the funeral instead. (We just played the radio instead). Either way we had a ton of good food and funny moments. All of the men left early, but it was for the best. My family and the other kids had a blast with Charis and I. We taught them the cupid shuffle and tried to show them how to salsa dance. They taught us traditional Tchadian dances and we had a good time. It probably would have been more awkward then fun if all the men stayed. Charis and I are sure they wouldn't have danced. 

As of now everyone is gone...well almost everyone. The Parkers and the Blands left last week, and Charis left yesterday morning. The compound is really empty now. I am the only person left in the group of friends I made. Lionel and Charis left for home and the Tchadians are on a trip in N'Djamena. Therefore, I have been very lonely lately. I still go out and talk to/hang out with people, but it isn't the same. However, the more lonely I get the more excited I am to go home and see all my friends and family. I am still really sad to leave, but at the same time I miss you guys a ton!

Yeast Infection Clinic

I was finally able to make it over to Naomi's house to take a picture of the new infection clinic building. It is a top of the line fire red brick house that will last for a very long time. Thank you for all your donation and support. There is no way we could have done this without you. The building isn't officially open yet, however,  Naomi is hard at work treating as many people as she can. There are many people who struggle with yeast infections who are now able to find relief through Naomi's remedies.